Occupy the Chalet

Mommie doesn’t feel like writing, so I took over her moveable writing window … because ... that’s the kind of dog I am.

Hi.  My name is Kiva.  I’d sniff your butt, but Mommie doesn’t like nose prints on her writing window.  It is very nice to meet you, tho.

A couple of nights ago my Mommie started getting sick … again.  All I can say is that you humans need to learn how to keep your viruses to yourselves and quit being mean to my Mommie!!  I mean, I love her more than bacon but when she gets sick, that Coach Crankypants lady comes to visit and I run for my room … fast!!  (underneath the dresser next to Bodieland.)

She coughs like she has a furball stuck in her tail; She talks in short, raspy barks; And how is she supposed to sniff butts and say ‘hello’ when she can’t breathe through her nose??   I tried to snuggle with her last night but she was burning up and leaking water from her face.  I tried to lick it off but I couldn’t keep up with it.  Something about her fever breaking, whatever that means.  Yesterday we watched 8 hours of Charmed reruns … which is 56 hours of my life that I’ll never get back.  And last night before bed, I caught her playing with the big writing window and lining up reruns of that show about those high school kids that sing and cry a lot.  Please pray for m…I mean her!!

Oh wait … hang on a sec … now I hear water running …

AAARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!  She’s getting in the shower!!!  She feels better!!! (please God, no Glee now?!)  BRB, I have to go stand guard (lie down) on the soft, fluffy, yellow bathmat and keep it warm for her.

Ok, I’m back.  Mommie said that I should tell you a little about myself since I‘m feeling like an assertive little brat today … You already know my name but my nicknames are: Key, K, Kivuhla, The Keevester, and Dummy.  I just turned 5 last month and I am a German Shepherd/Beagle … but Mommie calls me a Swedish Rusk Hound.  (What???  They’re good!!!)  I can spell too!  I know that p-a-r-k means that I get to run and jump and run and run and run!!  (I like to run.  I think it’s the Shepherd  in me … maybe the German, but I doubt it.)  I also know that r-i-d-e means that I get to go somewhere in the car.  I could stay in a car forever!  Mommie took me for a 10 hour drive one time and she called me a “rock star traveler.”  I didn’t have to tinkle for the whole drive but when we stopped for more go-juices (gas and water and coffee) she hooked my roaming leash to my collar and we found places for me to walk and stretch and sniff.  I only wish I knew what “camel bladder” means … she’s says that to me a lot.

But I do love my life … except when she leaves me.  I don’t like that so much.  But I love it when other people com to see me.  My uncle is fun … usually … sometimes … when he’s in a good mood … rarely.  Auntie Docktor stayed with me last time that Mommie left and I love her lots!!  And then from late April until early October, Mommie takes me for walks on my orange, short leash.  She used to use my pink, roaming leash, but I kinda like to run around her in circles … which usually doesn’t end too well for either of us.  And did I mention that squirrels fascinate me?  It’s so cool because we have so many of them in our neighborhood for me to chase!  But even though we don’t go anywhere or do anything in the winter, we still have fun.   Mommie spends a lot of time in the food room.  She calls it “cabin fever” but I call it “Kiva-heaven”.  She’s always making something … mmmmm rusks, pig butt, chex mix, breakfast burritos, green chili, Swedish meatballs, Popeye and Lewis dip … and I get everything that touches the floor … ya know, sometimes I think that she drops food on purpose just so I can taste it.  Yeah, my Mommie’s cool like that.

Oh no … I gotta go now.  The mail lady should be here soon and I need to be ready to scare the crap out of her.  Thanks for reading about me.  Oh, and Mommie says that she still has faith even if she doesn’t have her sanity anymore.