RUDY THE RED LEGGED CRIPPLE
(to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)
Rudy the red legged cripple
Had a very glossy limb
And if you ever saw it
You would say “What’s wrong with him?”
All of the genius doctors
Used to laugh and call him names (like LIAR!!)
They never listened to Rudy
So he hung his head in shame
Then one snowy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudy with your leg so sore
Rest it in sleigh once more
Then all the doctors listened
A cure is what they went and found
Rudy the red legged cripple
To your chair you’re no more bound
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OH RSD
(to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)
Oh RSD, Oh RSD
Thy symptoms ever changing
Oh RSD, Oh RSD
Thy friggin symptoms ever changing
Sometimes you’re cold
Sometimes you’re hot
Sometimes you burn
I wish you’d rot
Oh RSD, Oh RSD
Thy symptoms ever changing
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RSD CROCK
(to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock)
RSD, RSD, RSD sucks
RSD blows and RSD grows
Isolated, frustrated, none of it’s fun
The winter chill has just begun
RSD, RSD, RSD sucks
RSD burns and RSD churns
No dancing, no prancing in Jingle Bell Square
Cuz there’s frosty air
What a lousy time, it’s a drowsy time
No sun to warm my bones
RSD hurts, I can’t wear my skirts
Some days I wish that I had a clone
Giddy-up RSD get outta my life
So I can jingle around the clock
Don’t keep stabbing me with your fiery knife
That’s the RSD…
That’s the RSD…
That’s the RSD crock
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12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS - RSD STYLE
On the 1st day of Christmas my RSD gave me … a skin flare creeping up a limb
On the 2nd day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare creeping up a limb
On the 3rd day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare creeping up a limb
On the 4th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 4 trips to the ER, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare creeping up a limb
On the 5th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to the doc, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare oooon a limb
On the 6th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 6 nights of no sleep, what was I saying?, 4 trips to the doctor, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, another skin flare on another limb
On the 7th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 7 ketamine nerve blocks, 6 nights of <yawn>, ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to the doctor, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare burning up my limbs
On the 8th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 8 muscle spasms, 7 ketamine nerve blocks, 6 nights of no sleep, ETCH-A-<TCH TCH>, 4 trips to the ER, 3 I can‘t breathes, 2 puffy elbows, and a skin flare driving me insane
On the 9th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 9 hours of screaming, 8 owie owie, 7 ketamine nerve blocks, 6 nights of no sleep, ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to the devil, 3 OMG‘s, can’t bend my 2 arms, and a skin flare fruh-uh-uhm hell
On the 10th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 10 fingers throbbing, AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH, 8 muscle spasms, 7 ah that‘s better, I need lots more coffee, ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to see satan, 3 more OMG‘s, still can’t bend my elbows, and a skin flare - crap! I’m not done!!
On the 11th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 11 stabs to my left foot, 10 fingers throbbing, 9 hours of GRRRRRR, 8 owie owie, now I‘m gonna puke, 6 <yawn> of <stretch>, ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to the devil, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin flare someone call 9-1-1
On the 12th day of Christmas my RSD gave me … 12 stabs to my right foot, 11 stabs to my left foot, 10 fingers throbbing, 9 hours of screaming, 8 muscle spasms, 7 ketamine nerve blocks, 6 nights of no sleep, ETCH-A-SKETCH-BRAIN, 4 trips to the ER, 3 panic attacks, 2 swollen elbows, and a skin what?? … <whew> aahhhhh my meds kicked in
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Don't forget to tip your waitress and bartender ... Thank you and Good-Night
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