It Is What It Is

Well, I survived my Way Back Weekend.  Not with flying colors, but I did survive.  The pain, however, was brutal!!  Last week, I had somehow managed to to trigger my sciatic and it was causing residual RSD pain and iciness in my leg.  I had taken small, protective measures that I knew would get me through the weekend but what led up to the pain apex on Saturday was crippling and not entirely my own fault.  I had spent time with some of my faves hanging out on the street corner, gawking at the sweet hot rods that were cruising Main Street.  I got a visit from my folks and the Munchkins on that street corner (haha ... keep your jokes to yourself), and I got to hear a few tunes by my fave local band.  But what ended my night early should have never happened.  It is what it is and I can't apologize for it because I have no control over it.  Not very often do I come across an individual whose mere presence affects my nerves and pain levels.  I don't see them as "bad people" and I have no idea why they have this affect on me, but there it is.  First of all, my hands start to go into tremors and then they close in on themselves and seize up ... still shaking and twitching.  I have only noticed this happen with 2 different individuals over the last 3-4 years.  But on Saturday night, while enjoying the band, I had stepped outside of the bar with my buddy, Bert, for some fresh air and a smoke (yes, I get the irony) and my weekend came to an abrupt halt.  There was typical Longmont chaos at the foot of the stairs where some drunk chick had passed out and all of the intoxicated drama queens were hovered above her while they awaited the arrival of the ambulance.  My buddy and I went and stood on the other side of the steps, away from the commotion.  I was leaning against a handrail and had a potted tree on my right and Bert was on my left to protect me from the crowds walking into the building.  From amid the chaos walked the latest nerve-jumper ... and she came to stand right in front of me, pinning me in my little protected corner.  She stood less than a foot away from me and all I could smell was the alcohol oozing from her pores and riding on every breath.  She tried to hug me and <ZING> my fingers began to twitch.  I couldn't back away, I was trapped.  I knew what would happen to my body next and I knew that I had to get out of there while I could still drive.  I slid my skinny frame between her and the tree and when she tried to hug me again, I raised my hands to hold her off and my hands had already folded in on themselves.  I never even felt it happen.  I practically ran to the parking lot and somehow managed to unlock the Buttmobile and get in.  Ah crap!!  I had just left my best friend in the bar!!  I kept thinking what a horrible friend I was as I tried to text her, using my knuckles, to tell her what happened.  As I was about to tap "send," she called me.  She was with her brother and he was taking her home.  She has her own issues with the nerve jumper, I don't blame her for leaving either!!

I coped for as long as I could on Sunday and Monday, but I finally caved in yesterday and opted for a massage from my amazing new massage therapist whom I will nickname "Gem."  I just love this girl!!  Straight away, she went to work on my right hip and leg.  Within minutes, her comment was, "No wonder your sciatic is acting up.  It's pinched between the knots in your hip."  Yes, knot(S) in my hip muscles (Luxor-something and something-else-I-can't-pronounce-Major).  After about 20 minutes of hip work, I felt this rush of heat soar down the outside of my leg and into my ankle and foot.  I was so stunned at the returned feeling that all I could say was, "Hello, Big Toe."  Gem busted out laughing.  40 minutes on my hip and leg.  20 minutes on my neck and shoulders (because that's where my stress hides).  And today my nerve pain is back down to my new "2"!!!  However, my muscles feel like they've just endured a week of volleyball 2-a-days ... But ... I'll take it!!!

I really don't understand how an individual can affect my nervous system in this manner.  It's not that I hate the people, it's just that they give me this uneasy feeling that, unfortunately, affects my health.  I can't tell them that it's not personal, because it is my health, and to me, that is personal.  So I will continue to remove myself from situations that cause me harm.  RSD is a fickle bitch and pissing it off only hurts me!!!

It's sad that such a great weekend (pain and all) had to end like that, but at least it was bandaid-ripping quick.  I had so much fun seeing the old faces, hanging out with the Good Folk, and seeing my Munchkins that I am able to get passed the rest!!  I have faith that the sore muscles will heal and, now that my nerves have been eased, I also have faith that I can get back to what's left of my summer!!  Maybe I'll even find a way to take a nice loooooong drive to see what I can put in the rear view mirror ... now that I can sit normally again.