Sometimes Avoidance Is Key

I have an aversion to folding and putting away laundry.  I have this large laundry basket bulging and brimming and spilling out clean clothes all over my bedroom floor.  I looked at it for a few minutes today.  Then I sat on the foot of my bed and looked at it for a little while longer as I tried to find the nerve to tackle it.  Then I laid back on my bed and stared hypnotically at the twirling ceiling fan.  I woke up an hour later and decided to write/blog instead of taking the chance that being in the presence of Apparel Mountain would render me unconscious again.

My couch still needs to be vacuumed, my dishwasher still needs to be unloaded and reloaded, the weeds in my gardens aren't going to pull themselves, and now I am forced to switch up my game plan for practice.  (Our school is still in the final stages of construction and the gym is being used as storage for things like desks, chairs, bulletin boards, tables, boxes of books, carpet, lighting fixtures, all things not conducive to volleyball.)  So ... there's a local-ish beach volleyball club that has been allowing us to use their courts when we can't get onto a regular one.  On one hand, I love it!!  Beach volleyball is just plain fun when you know what you're doing!!  On the other hand, it is not the foothold where one instills the initial skills needed to play the sport.  And on that same 2nd hand, I really don't enjoy finding sand "where the sun don't shine" when I get home.  If I were able to enjoy a beautiful ocean while embedding sand in hidden crevices, I wouldn't complain.  But this is Colorado, and until the San Andreas Fault collapses, there is no ocean.

Usually motivation isn't quite this difficult for me to muster, but I did a dumb thing yesterday.  It was totally random and to a Normie-Girl it wouldn't even register on pain or paranoia indexes.  While getting ready for our games yesterday, I was using my hair straightener because, really, you don't want me to not, and I pinched the ring finger of my right hand.  Right away the ring, middle, and pinky fingers started to flame and throb and turn red and ... wait for it ... I didn't even burn myself, just got a little pinched!!  The only telltale sign that there was an issue is a tiny little blood blister on the pad of my finger ... and it still freaking hurts!!!!!!!!  Honestly, I'm a little intimidated by my ability to do dumb stuff like that, and I'm afraid that if I get on a roll again, and start moving too fast again, I'll do something dumb again, and put myself into a deeper flare than the one I'm already experiencing.  FU RSD!!! I hate this bat rastard of a disease!!  I want my real life back!!  I want to not have to be paranoid of "possibilities" all of the damn time!!  <sigh>  ok, I feel a little better now, thanks.

I have faith that by the time practice is over tomorrow, it will take me the whole entire 3 day weekend to recover.  I have faith that I will spend my spoons on the girls and not my tedious household chores.  I have faith that I will continue to rifle through Apparel Mountain for clean clothes, and on the off-chance that I need something to be ironed, I have faith that I will spray it down with my water bottle and stick it back in the dryer for another round ... or 2.  (To the people that just called me "lazy," I salute you with my throbbing middle finger.  You couldn't tolerate half of the pain and discomfort that I deal with on a daily basis!!)