In Search Of ...

Do something today that makes you happy!!  That is my advice to my RSD self.  It doesn't matter if I don't have a pocket full of cash, I will find something to do that accomplishes my goal.  Whether it's a Mom-sponsored mani/pedi, a short jaunt into the mountains, a trip to Ziggi's, lunch with one of my parents or a "Normie" friend, a matinee movie, writing, napping, lying in the sun, or taking Kiva to the d-o-g-p-a-r-k, my goal is to do something that, not only makes me happy, but doesn't cause me any extra pain.  I'm down to a 3 out of 10 on my pain scale and I absolutely positively do not want to do anything to jeopardize that!!  Needless to say, Elitches is out of the question today.

Too many times have I allowed someone else's ish creep into my day and bring me down which, in turn, causes more pain.  Too many times have I bitten off more than I can chew and have left too many tasks half finished which, in turn, causes frustration which leads to added pain.  Too many times have I gotten excited about doing something only to move faster than my body's speed limit and crash into a wall ... or the floor ... or a door ... or over the dog.  Too many times have I given more than I have to give and left myself with nothing.  Too many times have I relied on someone else to make me happy, only to end up with heartache and, inevitably, more pain.

And so begins my search for the perfect activity for a warm and windy June day.  Yes, I must work within my own limitations, but that does not mean that I "can't" do anything.  Helen Keller said, "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

I have faith that today is full of potential and I will find my "something."  I have faith that, whatever I decide to do, it will something that selfishly puts a smile on my face.  I have faith that I will turn off my phone and turn my back on OPD (Other People's Drama) today and be happy instead of sympathetic and frustrated.  Who knows, maybe I'll discover a hidden talent or a new passion!!  Even at 43, it could happen!!