Let's Play "Define-a-Flare"

After 4 days of cooler to cold temps, grey skies, rain, and wind, the warm sun has finally graced us with it's presence.  My toes have finally regained their normal level of feeling (and color) and my ankles are beginning to thaw, though they're still rattly as all get out.  This, in and of itself, is a "flare."  There are a ton of different types of flares when dealing with RSD, and not all of them are of the "physical" variety.  True story.  Alas, most of them are "physical" and they can be quite a pain in the oostakaka. (is that better, Mom??)  What's really kinda scary about all of it is this ... I know for a fact that I have not experienced every type of flare known to RSDers (and I've experienced a buttload of them), so without input from the masses, I can only speak for the types of flares that I, myself, have experienced.

The word "flare" (and it's conjugated forms) can be used as a noun as well as a verb.  v- "1. to blaze or burn with a sudden unsteady flame.  2. to burst out into sudden, fierce emotion.  3. to spread gradually outward.  example: "the pain in my legs flared." ... n- "4. a flaring or swaying flame or light.  5a. a blaze of fire or light used as a signal or for illumination.  5b. a device producing such a blaze.  6. a sudden burst, as of anger.  7. outward curvature." ... example: "This flare came out of nowhere." This is not to be confused with the word "flair" which is only a noun that means "1. natural talent or aptitude.  2. smartness of style or manner."  There is absolutely nothing aptitude-inal or stylish about a flare!!  Trust me!!  There is also the phrase "flare-up" which we are all too familiar with as well.  Flare-up in a noun that simply means "a sudden burst or outbreak."  (yes, I went to public school where I was taught: parts of speech, spelling, and grammar ... and I still use them to this day!!  Any 'mistakes' that I make are on purpose.  I learned how to look words up in a dictionary and a thesaurus ... not Google and Wikipedia ... yes, I am that old!!)

Needless to say, I have come up with some names and definitions for some of the flares that I have experienced over the last 20 years.  You've read this far, might as well read the rest, right??

Vortex Flare - when one centralized spot on an appendage goes into muscle spasm and feels like there's a black hole inside the bone of that appendage that is sucking everything into it with more power than a Dyson vacuum.

Electrical Flare - the way your body would feel if you stuck your finger in a light socket ... and left it there.

Fireworks Flare - the feeling of blazing fireworks going off under your skin ... over and over and over again.

Frosted Tuning Fork Flare - when your bones feel like they are frozen and in a state of constant vibration.

Hippy-Hippy-Shake Flare - when 1 or more parts of your body go into dystonic attack (uncontrollable shaking and spasming).

Fetal Flare - when every muscle and joint in the body hurt so bad all you can do is curl up in the fetal position and cry.

PMS Flare - as that time of the month approaches, both physical and emotional hyper-sensitivity are heightened and hair-trigger reactions can be lethal.

Gusher Flare - when you can't stop crying no matter how hard you try and the violent sobbing causes pulled muscles and even more pain.

Prickly Flare - that pins-and-needles feeling that does not go away ... not even by smacking the appendage on a hard surface in the attempt to "wake it up" because the mere thought of smacking said appendage sends waves of nausea over you.

WTF Flare - when you experience one or more of the aforementioned flares and no one believes you and you want to scream "WTF" in their faces.

Flare Deficiency - when every bit of the pain is at a normal and manageable level with nothing out of the ordinary ... aka Good Pain Day.

So ... there are just a few of my own personal definitions.  Fell free to tell me a few of yours, if you have any.  Try to make it humorous, if at all possible.  (because reality is too damn depressing already)  I have faith that my askewed sense of humor will continue to get me through the final stages of of the Frosted Tuning Fork Flare in my ankles.  I also have faith that I will finally get back to a 2 sometime today after I soak up some natural vitamin D to expedite the process!!