Finding the Joy in Pain

First Things First … A few quick FB updates from the Warrior Mama yesterday told us that the Penguin’s surgery went well.  Her gastric stimulator is in place, however, her outtie belly button  is not ... anymore.  (I had to giggle at this one, being a recipient of numerous laparoscopes myself.)  She was very uncomfortable going into last night.  It hurt for her to move any part of her body and laughing was a definite no-no.  The night nurse was an angel, or so I’m told, and the day nurse probably needs to smacked upside the head with a 2x4.  I’ll almost feel sorry for that broad after the Penguin gets done putting her in her place … almost.  For a 12 year old, the Penguin is, sure as sheeeeeeeeeeet, her own best advocate … AT 12!!!!!  Her uphill battle begins today.  The docs want her to eat, walk, go to the bathroom … and right now she wants to sleep, so guess who‘s currently winning??  HA!!  I’m sure she’ll be moving a little this afternoon though.  It’s all about the baby steps, even if it’s 1/8 of a baby step!!  I love that girl, and her whole family!!  They keep me inspired to fight!!

A couple months ago, another acquaintance of mine from high school sent me a message on Facebook.  She asked me if I’d ever read the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.  I can honestly say that I have, but it was about 15 years ago when I was still open to self-help books.  I will call this friend the Guru because of the teaching and healing work she does in Joshua Tree, CA.  The Guru then proceeded to ask me to write a blog entry about finding the joy in pain.  Seriously??  There’s joy in pain??  Since when??  Well … ... Since yesterday!!   Thank you, Guru, for making sure that my eyes were open to this possibility, so that when it did present itself, I was ready to pay attention.

Yesterday was the 2nd Annual Crazy Sock Day to raise awareness for RSD … AND to show our support for the 12 year old, Smiling Warrior Penguin.  We didn’t get any of the press that we had requested, but … WOW!!!  What a showing of love and support!!  The Penguin, the Warrior Mama, The Daddy, the few other RSDers that I had enlisted to help orchestrate yesterday, and myself were elated and teary-eyed at the number of supporters who donned the craziest socks they could find to help us raise awareness.  I’m still a little misty today as I look back over all of the pictures.

The “joy” for me began yesterday at 5 a.m. MST when I received the first text pic of crazy socks before I had even gotten out of bed.  Then I logged into Facebook and <WHAM> I’d been tagged in over 40 pictures already.  My heart swelled.  And the hits just kept on comin … all day … and night.  My whole family participated!!  The Bombshell had recruited her entire elementary school.  The Munchkins and the M’s had “S” day for “socks” and they all rocked ‘em!!  Houdini had to take a video of his class’ socks because there were too many to fit into 1 pic!!  My dad and his law firm participated as well, and my mom … ah my mom … I love my mom … she made sure that we all had our crazy socks to show off!!  I even got pics from one of the Bombshell’s in-laws!!  Do you have any idea how huge that it for me??  My high school friends were crazied-out in full force and my college sorority sisters and their kids were stylin’ in their socks also.  Then there were the additions from the Kansas Contingency.  This is a mass of people that range from my own days in Wichita, prior to contracting RSD, to the friends made while my sister and brother were attending college in Little Sweden.  It was overwhelming in the best possible fashion!!  By the end of the night, I had 25 new Facebook friends, courtesy of RSD and the desire to spread awareness.  How much more “joy” can 1 skinny, crazy, crippled chick handle??    I didn’t even know that that many people remembered me!!  Ah crap … tears again.

The “pain” became amplified right on queue yesterday at 3:00 p.m.  I tried to lie down on my heating pad and rest but my brain wouldn’t have any part of that.  I got back up and kept posting and tagging and downloading pictures.  At 7 p.m. I finally remembered to eat (God bless leftovers) and kept working.  At 10 p.m., out of sheer exhaustion, I collapsed onto Bodieland with Kiva curled up beside me.

After being awakened at 11:30, 1:20, 2:03, 3:47, 4:32, and 5:19 by the pain, I gave up on trying to sleep anymore and did the Frankenstein Crawl to Bertha for some TLC.  And here I sit …at 10:30 … at my kitchen table … praying for motivation to accompany my heartfelt desire to keep working … but it’s not happening … and that’s ok!!  I planned for a crash today.  I was prepared for the pain.

Today I have faith that all of us are able to find the joy in our pain.  If I didn’t have this disease, I don’t think I’d be as open to my calling of raising awareness … and I sure as sam-hill-heck wouldn’t have all of the people in my life that I do.  RSD has brought me joy.  Having said that, if you feel the need to call the loony bin and have me committed, please do!!