Post-Block Bliss

Even after almost 21 years of having RSD and receiving over 500 nerve blocks during that time, you'd think that I would be accustomed to all of the side effects, right??  Wrong!!  This last series pulled a fast one on me by making my entire left leg, hip to toes, numb!!  I'm used to that feeling on my upper extremities after my blocks, but this was a first for the lower ones!!  For the 1st time ever, I can actually say that I was numb from head to toe!!  I had a little bit of feeling in my pointer and middles fingers, but I had no control over them, their neighbors, or their neighborhoods.  Let me paint the picture for you ... My Mom dropped me off at Day Surgery at 2 in the afternoon and came back to get me at about 5-ish ... I wasn't ready yet because I was still wah-wah-ie and throwing up.  The nurse had brought in a blueberry muffin for me to nibble on as I regained strength.  Note to self:  NEVER eat a blueberry muffin while violently nauseous from drugs.  EW!!  Fer reals!!  Finally, a little after 6 the nurse was able to get me into a wheelchair to get me out to Mom's shiny, new car.  (No, I did not throw up in it!!  I value my life too much to release chunks in there!!)  Anyway, ColoAngel and Karma were on tag-team duty to take care of me until My Team was able to get to me after work.  ColoAngel got called to wife-duty, which should always take precedence over tag-team duty, so Karma headed over to my fave Mexican food restaurant in town and lined up food for when I could keep it down.  Unfortunately, Mom and I got back to the Chalet while Karma was ordering up burritos and Taco Aztecas.  My wobbly 5'11" frame, somehow, clung to all 5'6" of my own Mommie as we attempted to "walk" me into my house.  (My poor Mother!!)  Once inside, we were greeted by the mighty Kiva who just wanted to say "hi" but her enthusiasm sent both Mom and I sidestepping and faltering.

Since I didn't have time beforehand, I did not get my Sofa Surf Board padded and pillowed and was "forced" (haha) to recover in the big, brown, comfy chair!!  (ah darn, right??)   Mom set me up with a pillow and my favorite pink quilt that my late, Great Aunt Lyd left to me.  Kiva thought that I needed a heavier blanket, so she unfolded herself on top of me as well.  I was numb, I couldn't feel it.  I was drugged, I didn't care.  Enter Karma, exit my Mom.

Then things go back to fuzzy.  The nurse had sent me home with a plethora of blue cylindrical bags to catch my technicolor yawns.  I remember grabbing one, gagging, clutching the top of the bag closed, and then I think I was comatose again.  I know that Netflix movies were involved (I have vague recollections of Breakfast At Tiffany's and Rango), as well as Pepsi with a straw, but that's about all I've got for that time period.  After that, time lost all sense of meaning to me as I was in and out of consciousness.  I kinda remember My Team walking thru the door, but only because Kiva had been lying on my stomach, which to her, was a springboard.

(This being the 1st Block Recovery Program for Karma and My Team, they were a little weirded out by my inabilities and incoherent-ness but they handled the situation like pros!!)  Now to tell on myself ... Up until this point I had not had to go to the bathroom, but when nature calls, one must answer.  I had 6'1" My Team on one side and 5'2" Karma on the other to help me "walk" to the bathroom before they left me to take care of business.  As I was trying to turn around to butt-face the toilet, the full weight of my numb left leg came crashing down and took me with it.  Those 2 came running back into the bathroom all freaked out!!  I was, of course, laughing.  How I ended up grabbing the sink with 2 numb hands and worthless arms, I'll never know, but they got me up onto my good foot and spun me around so that all I had to do was drop trou and sit ... getting my sweatpants down was not a problem, sitting, on the other hand, BIG problem!!  Did you know that when your entire left butt cheek, thigh, and lower back are all numb, you can't feel the toilet seat underneath you??  Well ... I now know this to be a fact!!  My Team and Karma helped lower me onto the  seat ... where I tried to fall off, but Karma was ready this time and caught me before my head hit the side of the sink.  Finally ... I peed.  It was almost triumphant until I limply tried to reach for the toilet paper.  This was when I remember Karma finally laughing as she handed me the long strip of white paper and asked if I needed her to wipe for me too.  Suffice it to say, that part I managed all on my own!!  After they got me back on my good foot and my pants pulled up, things get hazy again.  I don't remember getting back to the big, brown, comfy chair ... I don't remember My Team going to the store ... I don't remember Karma leaving ... I don't remember trying to eat ... I do know that I didn't throw up for the rest of the night, though.  I remember My Team and Karma talking about me needing a babysitter on Saturday and I remember trying to tell them that these effects were only short term and that I'd be able to take care of myself on Saturday, but since they're new to this, I just let them run with it.

My Team and Kiva slept on the couch next to the big, brown, comfy chair.  I remember acquiescing to Iron Man 2 and then next thing I knew, it was Saturday morning ... early ... 5:30 early!!  And I had to go to the bathroom again.  My arms and hands had regained most of their feeling and motor skills, but it was my leg that had me anxious.  I did not want to have to wake My Team, the poor guy.  Slowly I inched my way upward and ... I had feeling in my leg!!!  WOOT!!  Off to the bathroom of my own volition!!  I sat.  I fell off.  But this time into the wall, so there was no big, loud <thud>.  My butt was still numb!!  However, I had regained control of the rest of my body so I was able to take care of business and I let the man sleep.  I waddled to the back door to let Kiva out and I put Bertha to work brewing some extra toxic, caffeinated sludge.  Needless to say, My Team was pleasantly surprised at my quick recovery, even if wasn't full recovery yet.  He turned to me and said, "You don't need a babysitter!!  Ready to get back to the Oasis?"  I said, "Only if you're buying the breakfast burritos." ... He packed up the groceries, the dog, the pillow, and the Numb Butt (shout out to the Warrior Mama) and we got the heck outta Dodge!!

Today (Monday) all of my numby parts aren't numby anymore and my pain level is down to a 2!!  My numerous injection sites are still sore and puffy, but time and sun and rest will take care of those.  Although RSD is an "invisible illness," it is still an ugly one ... and the treatments can be just as ugly.  But it's how you handle your situations that really matter.  Even doped up on ketamine, versaid, and lidocaine, my humor and attitude still try to make this damn disease look good!!  I have faith that my nerve blocks will last me for another 6 months.  I have faith that I will still have a few breakthrough pain days, but they will all be manageable and I will not let them sideline me.  Take that RSD, you bat rastard!!  I'm ready for summer!!