I think (no wait, don't go running for the fire extinguisher yet!!) that I want to create some type of public participation festival for my RSD anniversary this year. The 1st 20 anniversaries of June 1 were pretty quiet even though there was always a reason for me to celebrate. Last year's anniversary has inspired me to take my public and private celebrations to a new level this year.
The private celebration will be forever known as fuRSDday. CaliAngel, ColoAngel, Bosley, and I started it last year on my 20th anniversary and that friggin night will live in infamy!! HAHA!! It was a full night of laughter and constant middle finger salutes. Every toast was "EFF YOU RSD!!" This year there are more willing participants and it has been suggested that we make a camping trip out of it up in the mountains. The committee in my head is still consulting on that one. I think that as long as it doesn't hurt me to get up there, they'll acquiesce. It takes a lot for me to able to camp, so I'll have to make sure that I have everything I'll need ... an air mattress, bubble wrap suit, harness, tow strap, appropriate layers for the 3 possible seasons that we're likely to experience, 1 case of Folgers, 5 gallons of Coffeemate, ketamine nasal spray, lidocaine cream, Benadryl (pills and lotion) ... you get the picture.
In January, we have Crazy Sock Day for the Penguin. In April, we all go for ice cream to show support for The Big T's Iscream Day. Since just about every single one of my blogs refers to Kiva in one way or another, I would like to have everyone put an orange bandanna on their pet to help me celebrate FUR'RSDday. Take a picture, post it to Facebook, and tag me. I could not be the survivor and fighter that I am without the constant love, support, adoration, slobber, and manipulation of my wonderful dog. As I have no children of my own (thank you RSD) she is my world!! But I need feedback!! Is this a good idea?? Bandannas are cheap, we can bling them out ourselves, if we want to. It could be another way of spreading awareness for RSDers too. I mean really, who doesn't notice bright orange walking down the street?? I just spoke with My Team about it and he liked the idea!! (but then again, he likes me, so I'm not quite sure about his tastes!! tee hee ... i am SO kidding!!) BUT ... should I put this FUR'RSDday plan into action??
Meanwhile, I am still awaiting the arrival of my Social Security check, now 6 days late. If it's not here again today, I will call the Mad Cow back and show her just how Creative Cussing really works ... maybe ... i dunno ... I might handle it like an adult. It could happen. I have faith that I will accept the situation, whatever the status of my check. I have faith that I will find a way to celebrate my RSD anniversary with my friends all over the world. I have faith that whatever the private celebration will be, it will be nothing short of hysterically entertaining.
Raising Awareness for RSD (and Ziggi's)
The Power of Orange
Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Structured Sanity, I Think Not
My mental faculties are totally dependent upon the government today. I'm scatterbrained and can't focus. I have been staring at this gosh darn computer screen for over 4 hours. I have written the 1st few sentences of today's blog about 20 times already and then I hit "select-all/delete" (on purpose) and I start all over again. I've tried writing about National Take Your Kid to Work Day; NFL Draft Day; RSD; the Skank; why I believe that every state needs a State Dog; nominating Kiva for President; cramps; how well my blocks are working; Bill Pay Day; the fact that I have gained a size and am finally up to a 4; how I feel guilty because there are people whom I truly care about who are suffering in one way or another and, today, I am not; coffee; hats; a few of Kiva's tricks; the pending drought from lack of snowfall and an unseasonably warm spring; my plans for the weekend; missing the Munchkins; and yogurt. None of them have sent my imagination soaring into full-blown writing mode. This, my dear friends, is me with writer's block ... and it's not pretty. Even Kiva doesn't want to come near me (I think she's in the other room watching Glee re-runs).
I have a whole list of things that I need to do today and it's all dependent on one tiny, microscopic, itty bitty detail ... the arrival of my Social Security check. Since my mail usually doesn't arrive until after 2:30, I have a few hours to dwell on the fact that I was supposed to have it yesterday and I should be checking things off of my to-do list right frigging now!! But alas, I sit here at the computer staring blankly at my list and wondering if I'll be able to pay my bills, get gas, get groceries, get my starter plants for my pallet herb garden, take Kiva in for her yearly shot, or get a much needed (and deserved) mani/pedi/massage. I mean, really, I'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal, but there are a few areas in my life that require structure ... like my finances ... and my health ... and my ... ... ... nope, I guess that's pretty much everything that actually requires structure.
I did just start a new to-do list, though, out of desperation, of course. This list will give me a feeling of accomplishment until I drive back to the Chalet to find out whether or not I can have a real felling of accomplishment. I have faith that I will: make another pot of coffee, take a shower, put on make-up, dry my hair, get dressed, make the bed, run the dishwasher, stretch, drink the whole pot of coffee in the sun before the clouds roll in again, break up 1 more fence fight between Kiva and "Cujo," and then drive back to town to see if the 2 federal government agencies upon whom I rely have aligned their Wonder Twin powers for me. <smh> Whatever it takes, right?? Must ... maintain ... sanity ...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
A Quickie
Just a quickie l'il note today as I finally feel like my stamina is returning!! YAY ME!! So today my goal is to match my attitude to my altitude and soar high. It's one of those "I just wanna be grateful" kind of days for me. I have hope, I have faith, I have an amazing and supportive family (and Team), and I have the best group of friends on the planet!! I have conviction and determination ... and even a few morals!! ;) Regardless of what today may bring you; good, bad, or indifferent; always remember that there are other RSDers out there who make the daily choice to continue their fight against the pain. Look to those with strengths that you admire to help you through your troubled times. Life is temporary ... make yours count!!
On that note, I am showered, dressed, caffeinated, make-upped, and pony-tailed and ready to take my day by the horns. I have faith that today will be a good day!! I have faith that I will accomplish everything on my to-do list before my stamina is spent. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the trash truck is nosily making it's way down the alley, the neighbor's dog isn't outside to torment Kiva, there's gas in the buttmobile ... aaaaaaaaaaand I'm outta here!! Peace to you, my peeps!!
On that note, I am showered, dressed, caffeinated, make-upped, and pony-tailed and ready to take my day by the horns. I have faith that today will be a good day!! I have faith that I will accomplish everything on my to-do list before my stamina is spent. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the trash truck is nosily making it's way down the alley, the neighbor's dog isn't outside to torment Kiva, there's gas in the buttmobile ... aaaaaaaaaaand I'm outta here!! Peace to you, my peeps!!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Post-Block Bliss
Even after almost 21 years of having RSD and receiving over 500 nerve blocks during that time, you'd think that I would be accustomed to all of the side effects, right?? Wrong!! This last series pulled a fast one on me by making my entire left leg, hip to toes, numb!! I'm used to that feeling on my upper extremities after my blocks, but this was a first for the lower ones!! For the 1st time ever, I can actually say that I was numb from head to toe!! I had a little bit of feeling in my pointer and middles fingers, but I had no control over them, their neighbors, or their neighborhoods. Let me paint the picture for you ... My Mom dropped me off at Day Surgery at 2 in the afternoon and came back to get me at about 5-ish ... I wasn't ready yet because I was still wah-wah-ie and throwing up. The nurse had brought in a blueberry muffin for me to nibble on as I regained strength. Note to self: NEVER eat a blueberry muffin while violently nauseous from drugs. EW!! Fer reals!! Finally, a little after 6 the nurse was able to get me into a wheelchair to get me out to Mom's shiny, new car. (No, I did not throw up in it!! I value my life too much to release chunks in there!!) Anyway, ColoAngel and Karma were on tag-team duty to take care of me until My Team was able to get to me after work. ColoAngel got called to wife-duty, which should always take precedence over tag-team duty, so Karma headed over to my fave Mexican food restaurant in town and lined up food for when I could keep it down. Unfortunately, Mom and I got back to the Chalet while Karma was ordering up burritos and Taco Aztecas. My wobbly 5'11" frame, somehow, clung to all 5'6" of my own Mommie as we attempted to "walk" me into my house. (My poor Mother!!) Once inside, we were greeted by the mighty Kiva who just wanted to say "hi" but her enthusiasm sent both Mom and I sidestepping and faltering.
Since I didn't have time beforehand, I did not get my Sofa Surf Board padded and pillowed and was "forced" (haha) to recover in the big, brown, comfy chair!! (ah darn, right??) Mom set me up with a pillow and my favorite pink quilt that my late, Great Aunt Lyd left to me. Kiva thought that I needed a heavier blanket, so she unfolded herself on top of me as well. I was numb, I couldn't feel it. I was drugged, I didn't care. Enter Karma, exit my Mom.
Then things go back to fuzzy. The nurse had sent me home with a plethora of blue cylindrical bags to catch my technicolor yawns. I remember grabbing one, gagging, clutching the top of the bag closed, and then I think I was comatose again. I know that Netflix movies were involved (I have vague recollections of Breakfast At Tiffany's and Rango), as well as Pepsi with a straw, but that's about all I've got for that time period. After that, time lost all sense of meaning to me as I was in and out of consciousness. I kinda remember My Team walking thru the door, but only because Kiva had been lying on my stomach, which to her, was a springboard.
(This being the 1st Block Recovery Program for Karma and My Team, they were a little weirded out by my inabilities and incoherent-ness but they handled the situation like pros!!) Now to tell on myself ... Up until this point I had not had to go to the bathroom, but when nature calls, one must answer. I had 6'1" My Team on one side and 5'2" Karma on the other to help me "walk" to the bathroom before they left me to take care of business. As I was trying to turn around to butt-face the toilet, the full weight of my numb left leg came crashing down and took me with it. Those 2 came running back into the bathroom all freaked out!! I was, of course, laughing. How I ended up grabbing the sink with 2 numb hands and worthless arms, I'll never know, but they got me up onto my good foot and spun me around so that all I had to do was drop trou and sit ... getting my sweatpants down was not a problem, sitting, on the other hand, BIG problem!! Did you know that when your entire left butt cheek, thigh, and lower back are all numb, you can't feel the toilet seat underneath you?? Well ... I now know this to be a fact!! My Team and Karma helped lower me onto the seat ... where I tried to fall off, but Karma was ready this time and caught me before my head hit the side of the sink. Finally ... I peed. It was almost triumphant until I limply tried to reach for the toilet paper. This was when I remember Karma finally laughing as she handed me the long strip of white paper and asked if I needed her to wipe for me too. Suffice it to say, that part I managed all on my own!! After they got me back on my good foot and my pants pulled up, things get hazy again. I don't remember getting back to the big, brown, comfy chair ... I don't remember My Team going to the store ... I don't remember Karma leaving ... I don't remember trying to eat ... I do know that I didn't throw up for the rest of the night, though. I remember My Team and Karma talking about me needing a babysitter on Saturday and I remember trying to tell them that these effects were only short term and that I'd be able to take care of myself on Saturday, but since they're new to this, I just let them run with it.
My Team and Kiva slept on the couch next to the big, brown, comfy chair. I remember acquiescing to Iron Man 2 and then next thing I knew, it was Saturday morning ... early ... 5:30 early!! And I had to go to the bathroom again. My arms and hands had regained most of their feeling and motor skills, but it was my leg that had me anxious. I did not want to have to wake My Team, the poor guy. Slowly I inched my way upward and ... I had feeling in my leg!!! WOOT!! Off to the bathroom of my own volition!! I sat. I fell off. But this time into the wall, so there was no big, loud <thud>. My butt was still numb!! However, I had regained control of the rest of my body so I was able to take care of business and I let the man sleep. I waddled to the back door to let Kiva out and I put Bertha to work brewing some extra toxic, caffeinated sludge. Needless to say, My Team was pleasantly surprised at my quick recovery, even if wasn't full recovery yet. He turned to me and said, "You don't need a babysitter!! Ready to get back to the Oasis?" I said, "Only if you're buying the breakfast burritos." ... He packed up the groceries, the dog, the pillow, and the Numb Butt (shout out to the Warrior Mama) and we got the heck outta Dodge!!
Today (Monday) all of my numby parts aren't numby anymore and my pain level is down to a 2!! My numerous injection sites are still sore and puffy, but time and sun and rest will take care of those. Although RSD is an "invisible illness," it is still an ugly one ... and the treatments can be just as ugly. But it's how you handle your situations that really matter. Even doped up on ketamine, versaid, and lidocaine, my humor and attitude still try to make this damn disease look good!! I have faith that my nerve blocks will last me for another 6 months. I have faith that I will still have a few breakthrough pain days, but they will all be manageable and I will not let them sideline me. Take that RSD, you bat rastard!! I'm ready for summer!!
Since I didn't have time beforehand, I did not get my Sofa Surf Board padded and pillowed and was "forced" (haha) to recover in the big, brown, comfy chair!! (ah darn, right??) Mom set me up with a pillow and my favorite pink quilt that my late, Great Aunt Lyd left to me. Kiva thought that I needed a heavier blanket, so she unfolded herself on top of me as well. I was numb, I couldn't feel it. I was drugged, I didn't care. Enter Karma, exit my Mom.
Then things go back to fuzzy. The nurse had sent me home with a plethora of blue cylindrical bags to catch my technicolor yawns. I remember grabbing one, gagging, clutching the top of the bag closed, and then I think I was comatose again. I know that Netflix movies were involved (I have vague recollections of Breakfast At Tiffany's and Rango), as well as Pepsi with a straw, but that's about all I've got for that time period. After that, time lost all sense of meaning to me as I was in and out of consciousness. I kinda remember My Team walking thru the door, but only because Kiva had been lying on my stomach, which to her, was a springboard.
(This being the 1st Block Recovery Program for Karma and My Team, they were a little weirded out by my inabilities and incoherent-ness but they handled the situation like pros!!) Now to tell on myself ... Up until this point I had not had to go to the bathroom, but when nature calls, one must answer. I had 6'1" My Team on one side and 5'2" Karma on the other to help me "walk" to the bathroom before they left me to take care of business. As I was trying to turn around to butt-face the toilet, the full weight of my numb left leg came crashing down and took me with it. Those 2 came running back into the bathroom all freaked out!! I was, of course, laughing. How I ended up grabbing the sink with 2 numb hands and worthless arms, I'll never know, but they got me up onto my good foot and spun me around so that all I had to do was drop trou and sit ... getting my sweatpants down was not a problem, sitting, on the other hand, BIG problem!! Did you know that when your entire left butt cheek, thigh, and lower back are all numb, you can't feel the toilet seat underneath you?? Well ... I now know this to be a fact!! My Team and Karma helped lower me onto the seat ... where I tried to fall off, but Karma was ready this time and caught me before my head hit the side of the sink. Finally ... I peed. It was almost triumphant until I limply tried to reach for the toilet paper. This was when I remember Karma finally laughing as she handed me the long strip of white paper and asked if I needed her to wipe for me too. Suffice it to say, that part I managed all on my own!! After they got me back on my good foot and my pants pulled up, things get hazy again. I don't remember getting back to the big, brown, comfy chair ... I don't remember My Team going to the store ... I don't remember Karma leaving ... I don't remember trying to eat ... I do know that I didn't throw up for the rest of the night, though. I remember My Team and Karma talking about me needing a babysitter on Saturday and I remember trying to tell them that these effects were only short term and that I'd be able to take care of myself on Saturday, but since they're new to this, I just let them run with it.
My Team and Kiva slept on the couch next to the big, brown, comfy chair. I remember acquiescing to Iron Man 2 and then next thing I knew, it was Saturday morning ... early ... 5:30 early!! And I had to go to the bathroom again. My arms and hands had regained most of their feeling and motor skills, but it was my leg that had me anxious. I did not want to have to wake My Team, the poor guy. Slowly I inched my way upward and ... I had feeling in my leg!!! WOOT!! Off to the bathroom of my own volition!! I sat. I fell off. But this time into the wall, so there was no big, loud <thud>. My butt was still numb!! However, I had regained control of the rest of my body so I was able to take care of business and I let the man sleep. I waddled to the back door to let Kiva out and I put Bertha to work brewing some extra toxic, caffeinated sludge. Needless to say, My Team was pleasantly surprised at my quick recovery, even if wasn't full recovery yet. He turned to me and said, "You don't need a babysitter!! Ready to get back to the Oasis?" I said, "Only if you're buying the breakfast burritos." ... He packed up the groceries, the dog, the pillow, and the Numb Butt (shout out to the Warrior Mama) and we got the heck outta Dodge!!
Today (Monday) all of my numby parts aren't numby anymore and my pain level is down to a 2!! My numerous injection sites are still sore and puffy, but time and sun and rest will take care of those. Although RSD is an "invisible illness," it is still an ugly one ... and the treatments can be just as ugly. But it's how you handle your situations that really matter. Even doped up on ketamine, versaid, and lidocaine, my humor and attitude still try to make this damn disease look good!! I have faith that my nerve blocks will last me for another 6 months. I have faith that I will still have a few breakthrough pain days, but they will all be manageable and I will not let them sideline me. Take that RSD, you bat rastard!! I'm ready for summer!!
Friday, April 20, 2012
The K-Hole
Just a quick update ... I (yes, this is Jenn, the human, this time) took Kiva's advice and called my anesthesiologist this morning to try to get my nerve blocks done early next week instead of waiting 3 more weeks for my already scheduled series. My doc called me right back and said, "It's either your regular one or I can do it today at 2, because I leave for a 2 week vacation tomorrow."
SO ... instead of having a few days to get used to the thought of massive amounts ketamine dragging me down into the depths of the "K-Hole," I get an hour to wrap my head around it. But there are good things at work here: 1) at least I called today instead of waiting until next week. I would have been traumatized to learn that he was gone for another 2 weeks. 2) the added pain and nausea will soon be history. 3) it's supposed to be in the 70's and 80's this weekend and I can recover from the side effects while tanning my pasty white.... 4) my Mom, my Team, ColoAngel, and Karma will be around to help me if I need it and to look after Kiva for me.
Even the strongest of us need help. I have faith that, after a few days of recovery, I will be well above par and ready to face summer with a smile!! I have faith that my doc will do his thing that he's been doing for over 20 yrs and will make me feel better. I have faith that my anxiety level will skyrocket, right along with my heart rate, as I try to find my happy-place before the K-Hole finds me!! Hang tough, RSDers!! We all have our fears and trepidations!!
SO ... instead of having a few days to get used to the thought of massive amounts ketamine dragging me down into the depths of the "K-Hole," I get an hour to wrap my head around it. But there are good things at work here: 1) at least I called today instead of waiting until next week. I would have been traumatized to learn that he was gone for another 2 weeks. 2) the added pain and nausea will soon be history. 3) it's supposed to be in the 70's and 80's this weekend and I can recover from the side effects while tanning my pasty white.... 4) my Mom, my Team, ColoAngel, and Karma will be around to help me if I need it and to look after Kiva for me.
Even the strongest of us need help. I have faith that, after a few days of recovery, I will be well above par and ready to face summer with a smile!! I have faith that my doc will do his thing that he's been doing for over 20 yrs and will make me feel better. I have faith that my anxiety level will skyrocket, right along with my heart rate, as I try to find my happy-place before the K-Hole finds me!! Hang tough, RSDers!! We all have our fears and trepidations!!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Perfecting the Addiction
Hi, my name is Kiva and I'm addicted to attention. <whew> I admitted it!! I have 2 favorite places for obtaining this attention; the sofa (where I sit on Mommie and lean into Daddy) and the bed (my newest ploy involves lying across the top of Mommie's head so that it's easier for Daddy to reach my belly). I didn't consider my need for attention to be an addiction until early this morning when I got my front right paw tangled in Mommie's hair while I was trying to kiss Daddy's bald head to wake him up so that he knew it was time for my middle-of-the-night belly rub. Mommie said that it felt like I had gotten my paw stuck in gum or like I was tapping out a hoedown swing dance trying to dislodge my nails from her hair. Daddy laughed but she was not amused ... and that's when I realized that I have a problem.
Mornings are already really tough on her ... well ... on all of us, actually. And this morning, my addiction made it worse. To Daddy and me it's like watching a train wreck. We can't stop it from happening and we can't turn away from it. Usually Mommie has to trebouchet herself out of bed. If she doesn't, she runs the risk of falling out of the bed before she can assess the damage done from random bouts of motionless sleeping. Before she can even think about her launch, she has to do a roll call for all of her nerves to find out which ones are truant and which ones are disturbing the class. Only then can she gauge the amount of effort it will take to get to her feet. After she does trebouchet herself out of bed, she then has to: remind her legs to stand firm, force her hips back into an 180 degree plank after being in the fetal position all night, do tippy-toe stretches to stop the tingling in her feetsies, flex and wiggle her bony fingers to get some circulation back into them, un-round her shoulders, and pop her neck and back 5-6 times. That's when she can start thinking about taking those first baby steps towards the coffee pot. Keep in mind that this is barring all flares. It's a whole different kind of train wreck when she's flaring!!
I can tell when it's getting close to time for her to get another series of nerve blocks, because each morning takes a little more out of her than she has to offer. I can see how outsiders might think that she's lazy, but I know that she's RSDer and I know that there's a whole heap more going on inside her body than she lets on. It could be "spoon recovery" or "sleeping through the pain" or "flare-coping" or "down-time" or even "pain distraction" but it is not not not laziness. She's been nauseous a lot lately too, which means that her body is no longer handling the pain as well as her mind is and that calls for more down-time as well. Maybe Mommie should suck it up and call her doc to move up the date of her blocks ... just sayin', Mommie!!
I have faith that Mommie will make the right decision about the timing of her nerve block series. I have faith that, since I am now aware of my addiction, I will do my best to perfect it, despite how it affects Mommie's daily Frankenstein Crawl. I am Kiva, deserver of all attention. Fear me!!
Mornings are already really tough on her ... well ... on all of us, actually. And this morning, my addiction made it worse. To Daddy and me it's like watching a train wreck. We can't stop it from happening and we can't turn away from it. Usually Mommie has to trebouchet herself out of bed. If she doesn't, she runs the risk of falling out of the bed before she can assess the damage done from random bouts of motionless sleeping. Before she can even think about her launch, she has to do a roll call for all of her nerves to find out which ones are truant and which ones are disturbing the class. Only then can she gauge the amount of effort it will take to get to her feet. After she does trebouchet herself out of bed, she then has to: remind her legs to stand firm, force her hips back into an 180 degree plank after being in the fetal position all night, do tippy-toe stretches to stop the tingling in her feetsies, flex and wiggle her bony fingers to get some circulation back into them, un-round her shoulders, and pop her neck and back 5-6 times. That's when she can start thinking about taking those first baby steps towards the coffee pot. Keep in mind that this is barring all flares. It's a whole different kind of train wreck when she's flaring!!
I can tell when it's getting close to time for her to get another series of nerve blocks, because each morning takes a little more out of her than she has to offer. I can see how outsiders might think that she's lazy, but I know that she's RSDer and I know that there's a whole heap more going on inside her body than she lets on. It could be "spoon recovery" or "sleeping through the pain" or "flare-coping" or "down-time" or even "pain distraction" but it is not not not laziness. She's been nauseous a lot lately too, which means that her body is no longer handling the pain as well as her mind is and that calls for more down-time as well. Maybe Mommie should suck it up and call her doc to move up the date of her blocks ... just sayin', Mommie!!
I have faith that Mommie will make the right decision about the timing of her nerve block series. I have faith that, since I am now aware of my addiction, I will do my best to perfect it, despite how it affects Mommie's daily Frankenstein Crawl. I am Kiva, deserver of all attention. Fear me!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Big, Brown, Comfy Chair
I have this chair in my house that I refer to as the "spoon sucker." It's a chocolate colored, oversized, pillowy, plush chair with a matching ottoman. Everyone, and I mean everyone, who has spent time in this chair has succumbed to it's valium-inous wiles and slept like Rip Van Winkle. People like CaliAngel, ColoAngel, Houdini, my Team, my Mom, me, Kiva, ... and the list goes on. I only bring this up because I've spent the last few days in an RSD-induced, nauseous haze and after one nap in my big, brown, comfy chair, I finally feel a little better.
The thing is, you need to willing to give into it in order to sit in it. Resisting the chair is futile ... kinda like the Borg. (oops, did I just let out my inner geek??) If you're exhausted but need to keep up the energy, this chair is not right for you. If you're trying to clean the house and need to sit for 2 minutes, do not sit in this chair. If you need to sit down while folding laundry, this is not the chair in which you should sit and still try to be productive. If you're eating soup and sitting in this chair, you will soon be wearing soup. If you need to find a comfortable place to curl up with a good book, you'd have better luck reading in bed with the lights off. If you just want to get caught up on this week's episodes of Glee and Bones, do not sit in this chair ... you'll only end up dreaming of singing scientists and dancing dead people. If you think that you can wear dark colors while sitting in this chair and come away unscathed by dog hair, you're an idiot.
Needless to say, I have spent most of the day fighting the invisible restraints of the spoon sucking, big, brown, comfy chair ... and failing. But my stomach does feel better, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. I have faith that I will continue to be one with the chair until I'm back to par. I also have faith that my fur-lined (on the outside) sweats will be my badge of honor today since I'm kinda cranky when I don't feel well and, regardless of my crankiness, I can show ... I mean know that my dog still loves me. Sweeeet dreamssssZZZzzzzzzzz
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Jenn-Porn
I love hats!! I love wearing hats, I love trying on hats, I love looking at hats!! I have had this (almost) unhealthy addiction to them since high school (yes, for that long!! Just look at my senior pictures!!). So when my Team first told me what he did for a living, my initial reaction was, "Oh my wow!! Jenn-porn!!" For my birthday at the end of January, he gave me 2 beautiful bracelets, an adorable (and uber soft) reversible vest, and ... wait for it ... a hat!! It's a cream colored, soft knit, fleece lined, visor-brimmed hat that just begs to worn in the winter. I love it!! Wearing it makes winter almost bearable for this RSDer.
Last week, while we were hosting the out of town guests, we stopped by my Team's workplace. There were pictures and posters of hats on every wall and desk that I could see. That was when I noticed a large door with a sign on it that read "Employees Only" ... now, I'm not the smartest person in the world, but common sense, and my nose for hats, told me that that door lead to more than just pictures of hats ... it was the warehouse!! The home of the hats!! Rows upon rows, stacks upon stacks ... of hats!! Call me crazy, but I swear I heard them all calling my name!! "Jenn ... try me on for size!" "No Jenn, try me on!" "Psssst ... Jenn ... come over here and look at me!" I was trying on purple hats, pink hats, cowboy-esque hats, visor hats, scrunchie hats, micro-fiber hats, reversible hats, print hats; I put children's hats on my fists and tried to imagine how they'd look on my niece and nephew. When it was time to leave, I almost cried. I wanted to throw a temper tantrum or, at least, kiss them all and promise them I'd be back to rescue each and every one of them. Let me just tell you that trying on and wearing hats is SO way less painful than trying on and wearing clothes and shoes. Not to mention the fact that they cover up the grey, frizzy hair when I can't afford to have it cut and colored. If my hands and arms are failing me on any particular day, I don't need to worry about styling my hair, I just don a hat!!
But it's not winter anymore, my spring hat collection is severely lacking, and I have a date tonight with my favorite Jenn-porn dealer. Two nights ago I made mention of this, and last night, when my Team came to pick Kiva and me up from the Chalet, he had in his hand ... a spring hat!! WOOT!!! I am one blessed (and spoiled) cripple!! It's a 2-toned (black and camel), soft straw hat with a full, wide brim and a ribbon. Now I ask you, how freakin' cool is my Team??
I have faith that I will save my spoons today so that when my Team comes to pick me up, I will be ready for our date, with my new hat affixed to my noggin. I have faith that I will bring back my old motto of "It's better to look good than to feel good," as I place my new gift 5'11" into the air atop my skunk streaked frizz. I have faith that I will make today a good day, despite the menopausal Skank and her antics of spring weather. Oh boy oh boy oh boy ... HATS!!!
Last week, while we were hosting the out of town guests, we stopped by my Team's workplace. There were pictures and posters of hats on every wall and desk that I could see. That was when I noticed a large door with a sign on it that read "Employees Only" ... now, I'm not the smartest person in the world, but common sense, and my nose for hats, told me that that door lead to more than just pictures of hats ... it was the warehouse!! The home of the hats!! Rows upon rows, stacks upon stacks ... of hats!! Call me crazy, but I swear I heard them all calling my name!! "Jenn ... try me on for size!" "No Jenn, try me on!" "Psssst ... Jenn ... come over here and look at me!" I was trying on purple hats, pink hats, cowboy-esque hats, visor hats, scrunchie hats, micro-fiber hats, reversible hats, print hats; I put children's hats on my fists and tried to imagine how they'd look on my niece and nephew. When it was time to leave, I almost cried. I wanted to throw a temper tantrum or, at least, kiss them all and promise them I'd be back to rescue each and every one of them. Let me just tell you that trying on and wearing hats is SO way less painful than trying on and wearing clothes and shoes. Not to mention the fact that they cover up the grey, frizzy hair when I can't afford to have it cut and colored. If my hands and arms are failing me on any particular day, I don't need to worry about styling my hair, I just don a hat!!
But it's not winter anymore, my spring hat collection is severely lacking, and I have a date tonight with my favorite Jenn-porn dealer. Two nights ago I made mention of this, and last night, when my Team came to pick Kiva and me up from the Chalet, he had in his hand ... a spring hat!! WOOT!!! I am one blessed (and spoiled) cripple!! It's a 2-toned (black and camel), soft straw hat with a full, wide brim and a ribbon. Now I ask you, how freakin' cool is my Team??
I have faith that I will save my spoons today so that when my Team comes to pick me up, I will be ready for our date, with my new hat affixed to my noggin. I have faith that I will bring back my old motto of "It's better to look good than to feel good," as I place my new gift 5'11" into the air atop my skunk streaked frizz. I have faith that I will make today a good day, despite the menopausal Skank and her antics of spring weather. Oh boy oh boy oh boy ... HATS!!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Haters Beware/Animals Unite
Mommie was all prepared to write her own blog today. She was going to share some more of her quips and retorts to the many questions and digs that people with an invisible illness are forced to endure ... until she saw a FB group entitled "group to revoke handicap parking permits." Now my Mommie is fuming!! She can't sit still; she tried shadow boxing the wall only to stop herself before she made actual contact. She started throwing the clean, rolled socks at the windows; she miscounted her coffee scoops and wound up with a full pot of weak tea; and she strung cuss words together like my poor canine ears have never heard (and I hear her cuss a lot, under her breath of course). Now she says that she has heartburn ... duh Mommie!!!
I am leading a crusade for all animals of handicapped individuals. If we bite enough ankles and knees and privates, these morons will know what it's like to need the placards and the kindness and understanding of others. Psycho kitties, fellow deranged doggies, slimy snakes, rapidly reproducing rabbits, leaping lizards, fizzy fishies, fuzzy llamas, hippy horsies, hippopotomuseses, senseless ferrets, colorful angry birdies, germinating gerbils, hopped-up hamsters, spiders ... you're on your own, teutonic turtles (Mommie has followers in Germany), guinea pigs with gumption, fastidious frogs, malicious mules, hungry goats, sonic-al hedgehogs, and all mischievous marsupials ... We must unite against the haters and fight for the rights of our families!! They fight for us, they adopt us, they love us, they raise money for our brothers and sisters who have not yet been adopted. Come on, y'all, we've got some booties to bite!!
Uh oh ... Mommie just turned on her iTunes playlist entitled "Fight It." If the other signs weren't enough, this is the moment when I know she's irked!! I'd better go make her lie down or she's gonna waste her good spoons on ignorant people ... and that will just make her more mad. If you would like to help report this "page" and these "people" for violating the "no haters" clause on FB, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/97396080626/members/ ... on the top right of the page there's a little wheely looking thing next to the "ask to join group" button ... click on it, check "hate speech," check the box that describes people with disabilities. Thanks!!
I have faith that this will only fuel Mommie's desire to continue to advocate and fight for the rights of disabled people ... just as soon as she calms down and can, once again, articulate like a human adult with manners. "Mommie!! Come here!! Lie down ... NOW!! ... good girl!!"
I am leading a crusade for all animals of handicapped individuals. If we bite enough ankles and knees and privates, these morons will know what it's like to need the placards and the kindness and understanding of others. Psycho kitties, fellow deranged doggies, slimy snakes, rapidly reproducing rabbits, leaping lizards, fizzy fishies, fuzzy llamas, hippy horsies, hippopotomuseses, senseless ferrets, colorful angry birdies, germinating gerbils, hopped-up hamsters, spiders ... you're on your own, teutonic turtles (Mommie has followers in Germany), guinea pigs with gumption, fastidious frogs, malicious mules, hungry goats, sonic-al hedgehogs, and all mischievous marsupials ... We must unite against the haters and fight for the rights of our families!! They fight for us, they adopt us, they love us, they raise money for our brothers and sisters who have not yet been adopted. Come on, y'all, we've got some booties to bite!!
Uh oh ... Mommie just turned on her iTunes playlist entitled "Fight It." If the other signs weren't enough, this is the moment when I know she's irked!! I'd better go make her lie down or she's gonna waste her good spoons on ignorant people ... and that will just make her more mad. If you would like to help report this "page" and these "people" for violating the "no haters" clause on FB, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/97396080626/members/ ... on the top right of the page there's a little wheely looking thing next to the "ask to join group" button ... click on it, check "hate speech," check the box that describes people with disabilities. Thanks!!
I have faith that this will only fuel Mommie's desire to continue to advocate and fight for the rights of disabled people ... just as soon as she calms down and can, once again, articulate like a human adult with manners. "Mommie!! Come here!! Lie down ... NOW!! ... good girl!!"
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Whatever It Takes ... Again
Today I am back in my favorite big, brown, comfy chair with ransom moments of running into the back yard to chase my tail. Mommie is whittling away at laundry and getting ready to run errands since we're back at the Chalet today. I knew it!! I knew that my Mommie would feel better after a full day of KTLC (Kiva's Tender Loving Care)!! Well, at least she's pretending to feel better today.
If my Mommie were an actress, she would have a plethora of Academy Awards for her portrayal of a woman not plagued by the bat rastard disease RSD ... at least as far as anyone outside of our inner circle is concerned anyway. I see her hurting, Daddy sees her hurting, the PTB see her hurting, and God sees her hurting. But everyone else sees her fighting ... and she wouldn't have it any other way. Well ... she would try to hide it from Daddy and me if she could, but even my Mommie isn't that good.
But again, life goes on. There are always things things that need to be done and today Mommie's motto of "whatever it takes" will take on a life of it's own. The "needs" will be met and the "wants" will continue to simmer on the back burner.
I'm not full of quips and funnies today. Sorry. Mommie's mind is in a million different places right now and she needs her opposable thumbs to finish making her lists for the day. I have faith that Mommie will get the 'needs' out of the way so that maybe tomorrow she can get a 'want' or 2 crossed off one of her lists. I have faith that my Mommie will continue to win Oscars and put on a brave face for the world. I have faith that Daddy and I will be her respite from the emotional torment that accompanies an invisible illness. Life will go on ... even if we have to play catch-up more often than not!!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Home Alone
My Daddy had some friends visit from Florida last week and I had to be on my bestest behavior. No sofa surfing without permission, no prewashing plates and bowls before they went in the dishwasher, no jumping up on the humans for attention, no digging through the trash and leaving random treasures under the coffee table, no booty scootin' across the living room floor, no begging, and no licking my privates. If you are having difficulty trying to figure out who is writing today, it's me, Kiva the Wondermutt!! (the last no-no should have been a dead giveaway, but some of you know my Mommie too well!!)
My poor Mommie!! She did her darnedest to keep up with the company, but RSD is a bitch (sorry Mommie's Mom)!! On Thursday I got to ride in the backseat of the company's car with my Mommie and Daddy ... all the way to the Chalet ... where I got dropped off. Mommie told me that it was because the Chalet missed me, but my keen canine senses told me that there was another reason ... or 2. They were going sightseeing and Mommie was too paranoid to leave me alone at the Oasis. I have a tendency to ruin blinds, curtains, and trash can liners when I'm left unattended and Daddy's house wasn't Kiva-proofed enough for her to feel comfortable leaving me there, home alone. At the Chalet I have full access to the big front window and the back yard ... and Mommie usually remembers to put the trash cans out of my reach. She lined up the 1st season of Glee on Hulu so that I had something to watch besides the squirrels and the leash-training-woman with her 3 freaks. She made sure I had plenty of food and water even though she knows I don't eat when I'm alone, and she put the trash cans on top of the washing machine. Then she and Daddy gave me hugs and kisses, locked the door behind them, and returned to the backseat of the company's rental car. I guess they went to and from and around Estes Park ... and I stayed home ... with Finn, Rachel, Santana, and Puck as babysitters. (Great role models, Mommie!! Not!!) When they had first dropped me off, Mommie was still walking normally, but by the time they came back to pick me up 5 hours later, my Mommie was moving as fast as a herd of turtles and her face had Shar Pei creases all over it. Company, meet the Beast, RSD.
On Friday the company wanted to do more sightseeing. This time they were going to Red Rocks. And this time, Daddy convinced Mommie that I would be ok at the Oasis ... all ... by ... myself!! AARROOOOO!! And I was a ROCKSTAR!! I didn't get into the trash, I didn't crinkle the blinds, I didn't shred the lace curtain, I didn't go potty on the floor. Mommie was so happy when they got home that she cried and cuddled with me in bed for 13 hours. Come to find out, it was not because of me that she was crying, and they were not happy tears either. It had been windy at Red Rocks and there was construction going on. Mommie got pelted with dirty wind. I think she'd have had more fun visiting a masochistic acupuncturist, but, for the most part, she kept her cool until they got home.
The trouble with RSD is that it's never just one thing. It's more of a domino effect disease. She started to feel the wind in her bones first. Then she added the vibration of riding in a car for hours and the twisted mountain roads that turn her into a pinball in the car. Next came the dirty wind which ignited a skin flare. Then came the sheer determination of not crumbling in front of new friends which led to pinched nerves and muscle spasms in her right shoulder and arm. <big dog sigh> So today Mommie and I are home alone where I can keep an eye on her. She's still having trouble with her shoulder and arm and I need to be at her feet to grab every morsel of easy-food that she drops. I just hope she remembers not to eat chocolate or raisins today.
I have faith that my Mommie will make a full recovery from this recent exacerbation (such a big word for such a little dog). I also have faith that more RSD awareness was spread last week, even if it wasn't through the greatest of means. With or without RSD, life goes on. I see my Mommie stay strong more than I see her crumble into a pile of poo. I know she's gonna regroup and win this round ... she just has to!!
My poor Mommie!! She did her darnedest to keep up with the company, but RSD is a bitch (sorry Mommie's Mom)!! On Thursday I got to ride in the backseat of the company's car with my Mommie and Daddy ... all the way to the Chalet ... where I got dropped off. Mommie told me that it was because the Chalet missed me, but my keen canine senses told me that there was another reason ... or 2. They were going sightseeing and Mommie was too paranoid to leave me alone at the Oasis. I have a tendency to ruin blinds, curtains, and trash can liners when I'm left unattended and Daddy's house wasn't Kiva-proofed enough for her to feel comfortable leaving me there, home alone. At the Chalet I have full access to the big front window and the back yard ... and Mommie usually remembers to put the trash cans out of my reach. She lined up the 1st season of Glee on Hulu so that I had something to watch besides the squirrels and the leash-training-woman with her 3 freaks. She made sure I had plenty of food and water even though she knows I don't eat when I'm alone, and she put the trash cans on top of the washing machine. Then she and Daddy gave me hugs and kisses, locked the door behind them, and returned to the backseat of the company's rental car. I guess they went to and from and around Estes Park ... and I stayed home ... with Finn, Rachel, Santana, and Puck as babysitters. (Great role models, Mommie!! Not!!) When they had first dropped me off, Mommie was still walking normally, but by the time they came back to pick me up 5 hours later, my Mommie was moving as fast as a herd of turtles and her face had Shar Pei creases all over it. Company, meet the Beast, RSD.
On Friday the company wanted to do more sightseeing. This time they were going to Red Rocks. And this time, Daddy convinced Mommie that I would be ok at the Oasis ... all ... by ... myself!! AARROOOOO!! And I was a ROCKSTAR!! I didn't get into the trash, I didn't crinkle the blinds, I didn't shred the lace curtain, I didn't go potty on the floor. Mommie was so happy when they got home that she cried and cuddled with me in bed for 13 hours. Come to find out, it was not because of me that she was crying, and they were not happy tears either. It had been windy at Red Rocks and there was construction going on. Mommie got pelted with dirty wind. I think she'd have had more fun visiting a masochistic acupuncturist, but, for the most part, she kept her cool until they got home.
The trouble with RSD is that it's never just one thing. It's more of a domino effect disease. She started to feel the wind in her bones first. Then she added the vibration of riding in a car for hours and the twisted mountain roads that turn her into a pinball in the car. Next came the dirty wind which ignited a skin flare. Then came the sheer determination of not crumbling in front of new friends which led to pinched nerves and muscle spasms in her right shoulder and arm. <big dog sigh> So today Mommie and I are home alone where I can keep an eye on her. She's still having trouble with her shoulder and arm and I need to be at her feet to grab every morsel of easy-food that she drops. I just hope she remembers not to eat chocolate or raisins today.
I have faith that my Mommie will make a full recovery from this recent exacerbation (such a big word for such a little dog). I also have faith that more RSD awareness was spread last week, even if it wasn't through the greatest of means. With or without RSD, life goes on. I see my Mommie stay strong more than I see her crumble into a pile of poo. I know she's gonna regroup and win this round ... she just has to!!
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