How I Spent My Weekend … by Jenn Samson

By Saturday, March 3, I was 10 days into a right foot and ankle flare.  I’d had enough time to get accustomed to it and was walking okay-ish.  I put on my comfiest sweats (a dark pinkish/purple-ish color), my fluffiest socks (white with pink, purple, and orange hearts), and my Dr. Scholl’s gel insole-d Blowfish tennies (brown plaid with elastic “laces” to allow for swelling).  I was definitely not the best dressed broad on the block (sorry, no pics of that) but I headed into the kitchen to continue the beeline toward my own goal of Marching Forth by March 4th.  Did I accomplish my goal??  YES!!  Deal with it, haters!!  :-P … here is a tiny taste (pun intended) of how I began marching forth…  And FYI, I am making a compilation of these for binding … stay tuned!!)

What I needed:

An oven and stove
Flat surface (no, my chest does not qualify)
1 jumbo muffin sized muffin tin
2 med. cooking vessels
1 med. Mixing bowl
1 colander
1 - 1 cup measuring cup
1 - ½ cup measuring cup
Paper towels
1 ruler or measuring tape
A faucet with running water
L’il bit of dish soap
1 handiprepped rolling pin
1 lg. handiprepped mixing spoon
1 regular ol’ teaspoon from the silverware drawer
1 regular ol’ fork from the silverware drawer
1 regular ol’ steak knife from the silverware drawer
1 sm. cutting board
2 oven mitts
1 cup uncooked penne pasta
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 15oz. jar Alfredo pasta sauce
1 box thingy of frozen spinach
1 16.3oz. can refrigerated buttermilk biscuits
½ cup shredded parmesan cheese

What does “handiprepped” mean??  hmmm … guess you’ll have to wait for the book!! ;)


How I did it:

Preheat the oven to 350.
1) Put the colander in the sink.  In the colander,  empty contents of spinach box.  Let hot water run over the green chunk.
2) In cooking vessel #1, catch some hot water before it hits the spinach.  Put vessel on the stove, turn burner to medium high.  Put chicken breasts into the water heavy vessel.  Let boil until the water is gross and the chicken is no longer pink on the inside.
3) In cooking vessel #2,  catch some more hot water before it hits the green stuff.  Put vessel on the stove, turn burner to medium high.  Pour in the penne pasta.  Let it cook passed the point of “al dente.”
4) In the mixing bowl, dump out the jar of sauce.
5) Go back to the sink and make sure the spinach is thawed.  Break up the last few frozen chunks with hands.
6) Turn off water.
7) Shake colander 20 times with right hand.
8) Shake colander 20 times with left hand.
9) Realize that you just found a new PT activity.
10) Lay out a triple layer of paper towels on the flat surface.  Have another triple layer off to the side.
11) Dump colander contents onto paper towel pile.  Grab the other pile and lie it on top of the green stuff.
12) Press and blot until the spinach  is not dripping.  (more PT)
13) Rinse out the colander.  Leave it in the sink.  (I tried to put it in the dishwasher.  It was too early.)
14) Peel spinach off of the paper towels and put it in the mixing bowl.
15) With modified lg. mixing spoon, stir 20 times with right hand.
16) Stir 20 times with left hand.
17) Realize that the Crazy Cripple is a friggin genius.
18) Go back to the stove.  Turn burner under the pasta to “off.”
19) Without spilling, take pot of pasta to the sink.
20) Dump pasta and water into the colander.
21) Shake colander 10 times with right hand.
22) Shake colander 10 times with left hand.
23) Dump pasta into the mixing bowl.  Return colander to sink.  (again, lesson learned the hard way.)
24) Stir 10 times with right hand.
25) Stir 10 times with left hand.
26) Go back to the stove.  Turn burner under the chicken to “off.”
27) Without spilling, take pot of chicken to the sink.
28) Dump chicken and water into the colander.
29) With the fork and knife, stab 1 breast … (of chicken, you freaks!!)
30) On cutting board, chop chicken into bite sized cubes.
31) Put chicken cubes into mixing bowl.
32) Repeat 29, 30 & 31.
33) Stir 10 times with right hand.
34) Stir 10 times with left hand.
35) Wash cutting board with l’il bit of dish soap.
36) Dry cutting board with paper towel.
37) Unwrap label from can of biscuits.
38) Drop can on floor.
39) Squat to pick up can.  Repeat the squat motion 10 times but do not drop the biscuits again.
40) Take 6 dough blobs.  (but you’ll only do this to 1 at a time)
41) On the cutting board, with modified rolling pin, roll each blob into flat 5½” wide dots.
42) In the muffin tin, gently squish each large dot into a cup, pressing gently, forming a ¼” rim to the top of the cup.
43) Put the remaining 2 biscuit blobs into a sealable baggie for biscuits & gravy the next morning. J
44) With the regular spoon from the silverware drawer, scoop pasta mixture into the 6 biscuit voids.
45) Top each cup with the parm cheese.
46) With 2 hands, carry muffin tin & contents to the oven.  Set on stove.
47) Open oven door.
48) With 2 hands, put muffin tin and contents into oven.
49) Close oven door.
50) Bake for 28-32 minutes.
51) Finally put all used dishes, minus the muffin tin, in the dishwasher.
52) Rest.
53) When timer goes off, wake up.
54) Put each hand into an oven mitt.  (2 hands = 2 mitts)
55) Open oven door.  (note to self: stand back a little bit or your mascara will epoxy your top and bottom lashes together)
56) Using both mitts, remove muffin tin & contents.  Set on stove to cool.
57) Close oven door.
58) Allow the lightly browned pies to cool for 1 minute.
59) Remove pies from tin.
60) EAT!!!

I have faith that I will continue to experiment with recipes in a very handicapable fashion (pun intended).  I also have faith that I will continue to find inspiration to cook, create, and write it all down ... always making my kitchen adventures as fun for myself as possible!!  And if you can have fun doing it too, all the better!!