Not often do my routines fail me. Very rarely, in fact!! But ... Monday night that insomnia thing found me again even after I followed my nighttime routine to a "T+"!! I can't ever predict when those nights will occur, they just happen!! I have to accept it, adapt to it, and move the hell on!! (aaaaand allow myself time to nap continuously the next day) ... Most of my routines are tried and true. Some routines are still in the tweaking stages, but every day is a new chance to learn new tricks, even at my age, it just takes time to apply them into an already developed routine. Hey, life happens and things change, good and bad!! I have to be able to acclimate to what life throws my way. As a veteran RSDer, I have learned how to replace numerous pill bottles with routines. (It's amazing how far I am willing to go to avoid taking a pill nowadays!! Even a sleeping pill!!) Over the last 21 years of doing this, I have tried a lot of tricks ... and I have failed more times than I care to count, BUT ... I have learned what works for me and what doesn't, and I have turned the tricks that work into routines. Even if they seem dumb and pointless to others, trust me, my routines are solely comprised of "tried and true tricks"!!
My normal nighttime routine goes like this (um ... don't judge) ... 2 hours before I want to go to bed, I brush my teeth, take four puffs of my 2% Ketamine nasal spray, turn on the heated mattress pad on my bed, prep Flo for her morning ritual of brewing my elixir of the gods, and then I watch an hour of tv, usually a Disney movie, while I do a jigsaw puzzle on my iPad. Upon completion of the puzzle, I turn on the heating pad that eases my ankle pain that's sandwiched between my top sheet and blanket on my bed, make sure all of my indoor plants are fed and watered (I'm attempting to grow veggies from seeds instead of spending a hefty chunk on my gardens again this summer), send Kiva out for her last yard tour of the day, smoke, and shut and lock all of my doors and windows (yeah, don't judge). And then it's "pickapajama-time"!! I have to figure out which of my pj's are going to be the most comfy against my skin at the time. Usually it's a tank top and my soft linen (orange plaid) pants. Then it's on to the less than fashionable scrunchy to keep my hair off my face while I sleep. I make my final rounds of the house, pour a small glass of water from my kitchen faucet ('cuz I live in a town where the tap water is better than bottled water), double-check my door locking capabilities, turn off the lights and tv, and position my burglar traps (I said, "don't judge") I take the comforter off of my bed, start a movie on my iPad (recently my bedtime movie has Sherlock Holmes' Game of Shadows), and then, and only then, can I get into bed with an unobstructed mind. It takes me about 2-3 minutes to re-accustom myself to the rough texture of my uber-soft, flannel sheets. (RSDers will totally understand that one!!) I grab my 4% Ketamine spray from my nightstand and as soon as I get 3 puffs in each nostril, Kiva jumps up to tuck me in. I get kisses and a few cuddles before she hops down onto her own bed and then I play solitaire on my iPhone until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. I'm usually asleep before Sherlock and Watson get to the gypsy camp and before I can turn off the light on my nightstand.
On Monday night both of my legs were extra achy and I was still wide awake as Holmes and Moriarty went swimming, even though my nightstand light was out and I could no longer focus on my solitaire cards. My 2nd line of defense was The Aristocats and a double bagged cup of Sleepytime tea ... so up I got to nuke a mug of water!! I unlocked and cracked my kitchen window and smoked as I worked on my biofeedback breathing while my tea bags steeped (ahem!! don't judge!!). I took my tea to bed and opted for a little iPhone video poker. (the cards are bigger, less eye strain) At 1 in the morning I could no longer handle the conscious feeling of my bed. Being awake was making me more aware of my pain and I had had all I could take of my consciousness. Soooooo I got up ... I turned off the heated mattress pad and the heating pad, and turned on the nightstand light. I gathered up my K-spray bottles, iPad, iPhone, and glass of water, and I plopped my oostakaka on my couch!! I refused to let the insomnia work me into a flare, so I accepted my situation and pushed Flo's button to get her started on brewing my liquid crack. If I was going to be awake, I needed my wits about me.
Acceptance is really the only way for me to avoid those sleep-deprived flares ... which I can happily report happened yesterday!! Around 6 in the morning, I was able to take my 1st nap. Every time I woke up, I ate a bagel, checked Facebook, smoked (you're judging again), took a couple 2% puffs, answered a text or 2, and let myself drift back to sleep. In the DVD player, I had The Avengers on repeat ... all morning long. By the time I was ready for my 3rd nap (12:30 p.m.-ish), I was ready to hear something else other than "shwarma" and so I changed movies and put in Pitch Perfect (seriously, I told you a long time ago not to judge me).
Today I feel like I'm back to my old self ... well, the one that's 3 weeks away from treatment anyway. I'm still short on spoons, and my "normal" pain level is elevated, but my sarcasm is back, as well as a modicum of an attention span. I have faith that my routines will continue to get me through the rough spots, whatever those spots may be. I have faith that I can tweak my routines when I learn a new trick that I can use in my battle against RSD. This is my life, I have to accept it ... and tweak it ... before I can make it better!!
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