Prepping for the Way Back Weekend

So I've been taking some flack (ok, a lot of flack) about the sparsity of my blogs this summer.  In my defense, things have weird around here.  While I was sick with bronchitis, we had this "monsoon" type season here in Colorado.  The storms were blowing in and out of here like a 4 year old that just discovered the automatic doors at the grocery store.  And speaking of insanely cute toddlers (like the segue?) the Munchkins have been here all month!!  But this erratic weather caused a Vortex Flare in the lower half of my right leg.  (Vortex Flare - when one centralized spot on an appendage goes into muscle spasm and feels like there's a black hole inside the bone of that appendage that is sucking everything into it with more power than a Dyson vacuum.)  As my upper respiratory system began to heal, I realized that this "flare" in my leg was a little different this time.  It seems that every few years my RSD likes to remind me of it's diabolical existence by taking my baseline up a notch.  It happens.  I have to accept it.  I have to accommodate it.  I don't, however, have to like it.  So I called my doc and he upped my Ketamine nasal spray to a 4% solution.  If you've been paying attention, you know how much I dislike how K makes me feel, but I love the relief that my body gets ... and now I have to take more of it.  Watch me not do the Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy Dance.  And did I mention that the Munchkins are still in town?? ;)


In the winter and spring I would launch and crawl out of bed and to the coffee pot, crack open my eyes, and write a blog.  Nowadays it's roll over until gravity finds my feet, grab on to Kiva's collar to pull myself into a sitting position, prop my hands against the wall for balance and stand up ... ish.  I'm not entirely sure that "up" is the appropriate word since I started resembling the old woman from Sleeping Beauty more than Frankenstein.  But the Frankenstein Crawl still applies to how I manage to get to Bertha (my coffee pot).  Then I have to sit ... and stretch ... and allow my mind time to focus itself away from this crazy leg pain.  After I am finally a little more mobile, I have to go outside and water my veggies and fruits and flowers ... My new watermelon plant is looking fab, as is my new cucumber plant.  I've already sampled from my red bell pepper plant and also my green bean plant.  I'm a little disappointed in my tomato-growing skills though.  The first to sprout  had these funky brown spots on the bottoms of them, and just now I am starting to see 1 or 2 healthy ones turn red.  I planted them in a terrible spot.  They just aren't getting all of the sun that they need.  But now I know better for next year, right??

Yesterday I treated myself to a Spa Day, of sorts.  I went to the ColoAngel Spawn who chopped, come to find out, 4.5 inches off of my hair!!  I absolutely love my new easy-do!!  After that I met the Ginger Mama for mani/pedi's and some good laughs.  It was either all of that or a massage, and given the weekend with which I am faced, my hair and nails won out.  What's going on this weekend, you ask?  Well let me tell you ... This afternoon my family is having our annual Fam Pics taken by Auntie Marna (that's what the Munchkins call her and I love it because it's not really her name!!)  Tomorrow (Friday) is my "unofficial" 25th high school reunion.  Yes, I am that old.  And then on Saturday night it's the annual Cruise Night on Main Street.  Way back when, when I was in high school, and way before that even, Main Street in Longmont was the place to be on Friday and Saturday nights.  Some people would drag up and down the street for about 14 blocks, some would park their hot rods in the Big R parking lot with their hoods up, showing off their mad mechanic skills and motors, some guys would stand on street corners holding up hand made signs that said "Show Us Your Tits!!" to all of the females driving by.  (Let's just leave that one alone, shall we?)  Hell, there's even a family legend that says that, while in college, Dad (from Kansas) tracked Mom (from Longmont) down on Main Street during summer break.  But about 15-20 years ago, the cops pulled the plug on it because the kids were getting more and more stupid ... and dangerous.  So now we get 1 Saturday night a year to relive those old high school memories while dragging Main.  And I'm pretty sure that the last time that my hair was this short, was when I actually was in high school.  So I'm taking this Way Back Weekend to whole new level ... and fighting my pain singlehandedly!!  Hopefully I will find many reasons to have a natural smile on my face, but I've got my happy/no-pain mask ready, just in case.

So please forgive my inconsistencies in my blogging ventures.  I still have faith.  I have faith and hope in abundance right now.  I will get accustomed to my new "1" on the pain scale, I will see some fun ol' faces all weekend long, and I will give myself time to recover next week.  This is my life and this is how I have to live it.  Give and Take ... one spoon at a time!!

Girl Meets Girl

I will never understand the humans.  They come in all shapes and sizes and some of them make absolutely no sense when they open their mouths.  Last night, while I was chillin with my Mommie who was in spoon-recovery mode from the zoo, Mommie's Mommie brought over dinner and also brought this small blonde human with her.  I had heard about this Girl Munchkin, I had seen pictures, and I knew her scent immediately.  It was Mommie's niece, my female human cousin.  All she wanted to do was pet me ... and see all of the rooms in our tiny house.  I was not amused, but I was polite-ish.  I knew that Mommie's RSD pain was up a little bit, so I tried to not cause her any more stress ... I think deserve an Academy Award for my portrayal of a dog that doesn't mind mini-people.

I have to admit though, she is cute.  Every time my Mommie stroked my head and said, "good girl, punkin," the tiny human repeated the action and the words.  She also seemed very concerned about where my Mommie and I took our Happy Nappies and then she asked if she could come back and take a Happy Nappy with us some day.  "Hey kid, this is my Mommie!  Back the truck up!"  I hear that there's another tiny human that I have to meet as well.  The boy.  As long as I have someone to love on me too, I'll do my best to not get snippy.  Mommie seemed to have her hands full with the girl and me, so she may need to recruit help when they add the other one.


It's not that I don't like kids, because I do, but they are loud and squealy and I've been hurt by them in the past, before I came to live with my Mommie.  I'm just leery of them, is all.  I don't want my tail and ears pulled again.  I don't want to be hit again.  But I got over my fear of older men in baseball hats, so I can overcome this fear too ... with Mommie's help, of course.


I have faith that I will be forced to deal with these miniature humans again again over the course of my life.  I have faith that, some day, I will come to love them as much as my Mommie does ... maybe when they're normal-sized.  I have faith that I will teach them how to play Marathon Ball and Tug.  And I have faith that I will always be my Mommie's girl and I know that she would never let anything bad happen to me.  After all, I got chicken last night after they left!!  If Mommie's gonna give me the good stuff every time I have to see the Munchkins, I may grow to love them by tomorrow!!



 

Reporting Live from the Doghouse

When her eyes are open, she's awake, right?  At least that's what my keen canine senses told me this morning.  How was I supposed to know that she wanted to try to sleep in?  She's almost not sick anymore and I thought we were back to life as usual.  If you haven't figured it out by now, this is Kiva.  I am writing today from the doghouse as punishment for whining in my Mommie's face at 4:30 this morning to tell her to get up.  She thought it was a potty emergency, so when she opened the back door for me and I didn't go outside but turned around and followed her back into the house, she gave me "the look" and I knew I was in trouble.

Let's backtrack a few days, shall we?  Mommie's Munchkins are in town.  Those amazing little 2-year-olds that rock her world.  They hung out quite a bit last week and Mommie was loving every minute of it.  But she has the hardest time managing her spoons appropriately when she has to get 6 months worth of cuddles, kisses, and face time in before they disappear into Kansas-land again.  Not to mention the fact they came to Colorado complete with sniffles, sneezes and laryngitis ... and my Mommie blatantly disregarded it.  With it being summer, I totally get how everyone thought that the kids just had allergies.  They had the classic signs.  <sigh> But alas, it was, in fact, summer colds.  Now ... Pop Quiz:  A "cold" to a Normie is ___________ to my Mommie.  If you answered "Bronchitis," you get an A+ ... if you answered "Zombie Virus," you get an A-.  Yes the coughs and hacks and wheezes that cause spasmodic body convulsions which insight pain flares are back.  OH ... OH ... OH ... Squirrel ... AND ... the fires in Colorado are almost all contained!!  Thanks, in part, to our summer monsoon weather that has replaced the oven in which we were all living.  Whereas this is good for the firefighters, the lawns, the farmers, Mommie's gardens, the pads of my feet, and the humans that don't like the 90+ temps, this has been harsher than normal on my Mommie.  She says that her RSD is morphing again.  Just when she gets used to certain flares that arise at certain times throughout the seasons, the Skank rewrites the weather and the pains change ... and require getting used to all over again.  Damn you RSD!!  Leave my Mommie alone!!

I tried to be her nurse over the weekend.  I growled at her when she did things that caused her to overexert herself ... like vacuuming, working in the gardens, standing up and cooking, making her bed, and showering.  When she'd sit down I'd lay across her feet so that she couldn't get back up again.  Uncle Houdini randomly appeared and disappeared to check on us, Mommie's Mommie brought over hamburgers and salads and juice and fudgecicles and a big bag full of medicines from the pharmacy.  We have watched movies; caught up on our Hulu tv shows; played stupid FB games like Bingo, Slingo, some monkey game, and Solitaire; and Mommie even did a little reading.  But RSD and "colds" don't go well together.  There is way too much going on in her body for her mind to be idle.  She needs to stay focused on something so that she can keep herself distracted from the pain as well as the added discomfort.  The Vortex Flares that have been gracing her legs with their presence every afternoon seem to be the only thing that has successfully taken her mind off of her weighted chest, bouts of coughing and her fiery throat.  I could be wrong, it's happened before, but I don't think that she likes feeling like this.

This morning, God bless her, my Mommie snapped.  Her patience is shot.  It was really only a matter of time.  And since I'm the one that is with her 24/7, I'm the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.  Maybe I should've just let her sleep in this morning.  But her eyes were open almost all night long.  I thought that she was ready to get up.  Maybe if I'd have gone outside, even to just monitor the fence-line since I didn't have to do my business, I could have helped her fight it off a little while longer.  I know that she is babysitting the Munchkins again tonight, so maybe I'll just leave her alone so that she has time to kick Coach Crankypants to the curb before she has to leave.  Maybe I'll rebuild my fort with the sofa cushions so that she can have some "alone time."  Maybe I'll go hang out on the back stoop and watch the birds and squirrels.  Hey, I said "maybe"!!

I have faith that Mommie will feel better.  I have faith that Coach Crankypants' appearance will be short lived.  I have faith that I have done my best to try to help my Mommie and I know that she knows this.  I love my Mommie but I don't like this look-alike ... at all!!  I have faith that the snarkiness will continue, but this too shall pass.  Even the Eternal Optimist needs Oscar the Grouch days.  My Mommie will be back ... I just know it!!